Fertility 101: Understanding your options! Thursday, April 08, 2025 06:00 pm- 07:00 pm

What Not to Say to Someone Facing Infertility (And What Helps Instead)

What Not to Say to Someone Struggling with Infertility

While trying to conceive, you are likely dealing with more than just the physical side of your situation. When people make comments that are meant to empathise, they can sometimes come across as infertility insensitive comments. Such statements can increase what is already a tough journey, especially aggravating the emotional impact of infertility

The blog outlines some of the most frustrating things people say when someone is trying to have a baby, and discusses why these can be challenging to absorb. Additionally, we have put together some ways in which to respond to these comments, as a way to acknowledge how you feel. Read on to know what not to say to someone facing infertility and how to support someone with infertility. 

“Just relax, and it’ll happen!”

  • This is likely one of the most common infertility insensitive comments, which causes a lot of frustration. While relaxing may seem like sound advice to alleviate the stress, it may not be the best way to offer infertility emotional support. 
  • For most individuals, this is definitely one of things not to say to infertile couples, as no one truly understands the physical and emotional struggles they are experiencing.
  • The fertility treatments, hormone therapies, and doctor visits associated with fertility treatments are a vital part of the entire process. Rather than being simply told to “relax”, what you truly need is an infertility emotional support

We’re here to help you navigate these tough moments and provide the support you deserve. 

“Have you tried……?”

  • While some may offer suggestions for diets, workout regimens, or alternative therapies, receiving unsolicited advice certainly doesn’t fall under how to support someone with infertility. 
  • Even though many of these comments may stem from a sincere place of concern, at times they may seem as though they are trying to diminish one’s experience with infertility. 
  • What works for one person on their journey to overcome infertility may not work for another, so rather than advice, it is important to offer genuine infertility emotional support

This is why receiving proper medical support through fertility treatment is imperative. This is your body, your experience, and your choices.

“You can always adopt.”

  • While adoption is a beautiful and valid path to parenthood, it cannot be lightly offered as a suggestion, and certainly not how to support someone with infertility. 
  • For many, the goal of fertility treatments is to conceive and carry a biological child. Suggesting adoption as a solution can feel like you’re telling someone to “give up” on their fertility journey, and come across as infertility insensitive comments

It’s important to respect where someone is in their journey and allow them the space to absorb the process, and make decisions in their own time.

“You’re still young, you have plenty of time.”

  • While age is certainly a factor in fertility and may seem reassuring, hearing that you’re “still young” can feel dismissive, especially when you’re actively struggling with conception. 
  • Infertility affects people of all ages, and even younger individuals can experience difficulties. Bringing up age is one of the things not to say to infertile couples.
  • This statement ignores the emotional weight of your current experience, where every month without success can feel heartbreaking. 
  • Instead of focusing on age, it’s important to acknowledge the present struggle and offer infertility emotional support for the here and now. 

We understand the emotional impact of infertility, and are here to guide you through this journey, no matter your age or circumstances.

“Maybe it’s just not meant to be.”

  • This phrase can be one of the most painful to hear and often feels like your efforts, hopes and dreams of having a baby are invalidated. 
  • Infertility is not about fate but a medical condition that requires attention, care, and sometimes complex solutions. 
  • This is one of the top things not to say to someone facing fertility. It’s important to remember that with the right support and treatment, there are many paths to parenthood. 

We believe that everyone deserves the chance to build the family they envision, and we’re here to support you through each step of the process.

Conclusion

Dealing with fertility is something that only the person experiencing it will understand. It is isolating and emotionally draining, especially when you’re faced with infertility insensitive comments. 

Whether you’re navigating fertility treatments or seeking emotional support, remember that your everything you feel is valid, and it’s okay to advocate for yourself when others say things not to say to infertile couples. At Luma fertility, we understand the emotional impact of infertility, and ensure you are not alone in this journey, with the help of a dedicated Caregiver.

Still thinking about what your fertility journey could be? Start with 10% off your first consultation

Contact our fertility care specialist today to know more.

Still thinking about what your fertility journey could be? Start with 10% off your first consultation.

Contact our fertility care specialist today to know more.
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